Live and Learn through Loss

There was just one year and one month between the two losses........dad, December 5 ,2009 -mom, January 22, 2010. The anniversary of dad's passing had began to make my stomach churn in the middle of the night. The wintry mix of rain and snow was a quick reminder of mom's pneumonia siege in November. Fear and uncertainty were battling daily for ownership and my body was the war zone. The innate knowledge of mom's death was soon going to be a reality. The thought overwhelming. Life without mom-unthinkable. I had experienced her laughter and spirit for almost fifty-five years. ....but I knew, I just knew that winter would not evolve into spring prior to mom seeing her God and me traveling through the stages of grief.
Then the process began.....a phone call from Hospice encouraging me to come for a longer than normal visit. I went, praying for strength and peace- leaving my daily responsibilities with friends, loved-ones and substitutes. I was blessed for five lovely weeks with my precious mother. Every second was a gift....a precious spiritual moment in time. Pushing the wheelchair to the dinning hall; gingerly picking up the spoon to assist in her feeding; combing her grey curls and watching her sleep were gifts of both learning and loving. It ended too soon for me, however mom had her own plans. She was ready to move on to another life leaving her legacy behind........a legacy of love, faith, hope, acceptance, gentleness and peace.

Bee Venom for Wrinkles Report

Not every experiment I pursue is going to be a new and positive revelation. The past one involving "bee venom and wrinkles" was disappointing ...........yes, it was a nice moisturizer and it did "puff" up my chin; however, it was disappointing in the fact that the change was minimal and limited in time. Experts say that bee venom really does help increase collagen. Maybe I am too impatient.

Wrinkles

I have been using the bee venom for several weeks now on one side of my face. It turns red for a few minutes and feels rather tight but the strange feeling subsides quickly. I do think it is gradually beginning to help the wrinkles become more shallow and not as deeply embedded within the skin. I have a 30 year old horrible habit of chewing the inside of my cheek when nervous or bored which has increased the amount and depth of the wrinkles. Most of the wrinkles have been self induced which makes me angry at myself. BUT, there is hope beyond face-lifts and I am hopeful that Bee Venom will be one of the regimens that prove productive. Let me try this for a few more weeks and I will report again and offer the venom ointment at a reduced rate if it is truly marketable.

Bee Venom for Wrinkles

As we all know, Baby Boomers are striving for physical excellence and beauty. I relate perfectly to that notion. Lists on my desk on how and when to exercise; guilt over relishing one M and M; reminders to ingest vitamins, liquids and supplements; oxygen masks and lotions for facial imperfections and spiritual meditations for stress relief provide a sense of security for longevity and beauty. So, my latest experiment is with bee products I market on my website http://www.beehoneyhealthy/.

I have been applying a lotion that contains bee venom (Venex) on some deep wrinkles on my face. According to the consulted apitherapists, bee venom does increase the amount of collagen beneath the skin which lessens the appearance of wrinkles. I am excited about the prospects and will be updating my blog with results. I am very hope full about this potential........I want to remain as youthful looking and vivacious as possible. As much as I hate to admit it, these wrinkles interfere with self esteem sometimes.......especially when gazing at a flawless face.

The Specifics
My last entry, ” Time and Death” is an epitaph of perceptions; a rebirth of reality; a summary of the end of a loved life. The death is a picture not yet painted; a perception not prior expreienced. Colors, sounds, smells, visions and words paint an etherial illustration that defines the very epitaph.
The holy experience is a flash in the night. The hours are seconds yet the days are years. Time passes quickly yet visions of the beloved slow as a still-framed movie from the Twenty’s. Voices taste sweet and feelings explode as a summer sunset………the experience bitter-sweet, so diametrically opposed. Reality is distored and the awareness of it is deafening. Consciousness heightens and protection for the beloved is ultimate as an infant. Not much difference…………both evoke love and both require love………the infant accepting resposibility - the adult, releasing responsibility. The painting unique; the artisitic medium liberal; the product perfect.
In loving memory of Wayne R. Crum
Daughter, Rhonda Crum

Time and Death

Time has flown by since my last post. I am not sure how or why..........I guess death of a loved one causes perceived time to stand still.
Hours of honoring my father's confused last wishes passes as seconds. Requests from a 91 year old parent not understood, yet respected and followed, flash like minutes. Five hours; twelve; twenty-four; soon two days become history quick as a dash between dates in a textbook. Reality stands still at a time such as this. Appears surreal.
Bittersweet interactions between my father and me are gathered and stored in long term memory forever. Hospice deems this time of restlessness as "Terminal Aggitation" but I interpret it as the "last gift." Concern for family; completing unfinished affairs; facing fear respectfully; fighting the inevitable and finally finding peace were gently gifted to me by my dad on Dec.5,2008. He was teaching me about life and death right to the bitter end. Questions continue to linger about life .........and death, but the truth of it all will come to fruition when I pass to the other side......just as it did for dad......and I am no longer afraid. What a gift he gave during what seemed like the most stressful time of my fifty-three years.

About that last sinus infection post in November........it went away with the neti-pot and peroxide regimine.

Sinus Trouble Again

I quite using my neti-pot for a couple of weeks.....I felt fine...... not smart! AND I ran out of bee pollen.........guess what? I am currently doctoring cold-like symptoms. It started with a scratchy throat; graduated to my larynx (full throat); started sneezing and now have a runny nose and full ears......sound familiar? I really dislike the full ear stage. I have TMJ, as well, so this adds insult to injury. Anyway, because of my long standing sinus/allergy history, these symptoms are alarming. A full blown sinus infection can last one to two months- even when taking an antibiotic, decongestant and steroids. YIKES! So where does all of this lead......to another experiment........I am using the neti-pot with the following combination: a pinch of baking soda, a cupful of hydrogen-peroxide and two-thirds cup of water. The cleansing of the sinuses will occur three time a day. In addition, I am returning to my morning regimen of bee pollen capsules and decreasing dairy products. This synergistic approach should minimize the symptoms in three to four days. We'll see. It worked before so I am hopeful that it will work again. I promise to document the outcome truthfully! Rhonda Crum www.beehoneyhealthy.com